Order Mediation Resource

MEDIATION AND RECONCILIATION: A RESOURCE FOR THE ORDER

LIVING IN HARMONY

We all want to be at peace with those about us.
We want to “live united”.
We hold goodwill and harmony close to our hearts as inherent parts of our vision and faith.

So how do we each live without fear and aggression in a world which constantly presents the challenge of difference?

We have many individual and collective resources for working towards such a vision, among them the practices of mediation, reconciliation and peacemaking or conflict resolution.

Professional mediators from within the Order have come together to offer their help to those seeking resolution of misunderstandings or conflict.

HOW TO USE THE RESOURCE

When is Mediation / Reconciliation Helpful?

It helps to acknowledge that differences are bound to arise between us. We can respond to them creatively rather than deny or try to escape them.

Mediation cannot be imposed on disputants as it relies on their cooperation. It needs to be sought by one or both people concerned or to be suggested by a good friend. 

Much help can be offered to just one person in a dispute if both people are not ready to seek reconciliation together.

Bringing the skills of peacemaking in promptly when the need is recognized can help a situation to remain open and flexible.

Sometimes we move away from a situation of disharmony without really moving on. Fundamental difficulties may be left unresolved. Mediation / reconciliation can bring illumination and relief into such situations.

People in dispute may ask a friend to help them reach resolution. The Mediators’ Panel can offer advice to the good friend if this is needed.

The more of us who have some peacemaking skills the more we will build a culture of reconciliation. The Mediators’ panel can advise Chapters, Councils and individuals on ways of developing their abilities and experience in this area.

How Does It Work?

Mediation and reconciliation are confidential.

Each person is heard by a skilled and empathetic listener.

A mediator is impartial.

A mediator will avoid any use of coercion.

There are many possible frameworks for reaching reconciliation, depending on the particular discipline of the mediator.

Some mediators will agree ground rules with disputants while others work without them.

A mediator facilitates dialogue and is able to hold a situation as sensitive matters emerge.

The people in dispute are responsible for deciding the content of strategies for moving on.The mediator is not there to impose solutions.

The beauty of reconciliation methods is that they allow people to stand eventually on shared ground. As each person understands more of the other’s wishes, needs and possibly their confusion, so each can move into the other’s landscape. The conditions for harmony begin to arise.

WHAT IS THE MEDIATORS’ PANEL?

At the Order Convention in 2005 about thirty people came together to talk about how to respond helpfully in situations of misunderstanding, dispute or conflict within the Order. Dharmottara initiated this group out of her heartfelt wish that people should not have to feel alone in a situation where communication has broken down.

It was decided to form a panel of professional and experienced mediators who are willing to offer their services to Order members who want help.

There are currently six people on the panel, with others interested in joining when they can.

Dharmottara acts as liaison for the Panel. She is not herself a mediator.

The mediators are interested not only in providing help in acute situations,but also in finding ways of building the skills of peacemaking into our culture. They are happy to advise on training or workshops.

The Mediators’ Panel does not charge set fees for its service. A mediator may need a fee, or their travel expenses, or may at times be able to give their help freely. These practicalities are discussed between mediator and client.

Confidentiality is very important. The Panel has set up a system for contacting its members which respects this principle. Please find details overleaf.

CONTACT DETAILS:

In the first instance get in touch with Dharmottara at the address below, or via her e-mail (found in the Order address book). There is no need to give her any information beyond your wish for assistance and your contact details.

Dharmottara will let the Panel know simply that a request for help has been made. Panel members will respond to her with information about their availability, and it will be clear who is in a position to assist.

Dharmottara will then give you the mediator’s contact details. After this it is up to the two of you to discuss the next steps.

In this way as much privacy and confidentiality as possible is maintained.

Dharmottara
121 Beresford Road
Prenton
Merseyside  CH43  2JD
UK

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